One Fine Egg

Sitting on the ground
As neat as pie
Is a perfect egg
The colour of sky

And as this is a story you can pick it up
And wonder gratefully at your fabulous luck
But who do you think is sleeping inside
The egg is warm and speckled besides

So you wander gently down the way
Looking for the mother of the egg today

And who's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a Swan we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
The Swan looks down at you
Lord of the land

'Is this your egg may I ask good man?'
And the Swan thinks quick and hatches a plan

Across the brackish water
Over grit and gravelly ground
The Swan waddles impatiently
To the egg which you have found

His jealous feet
and jealous beak
snap at your silly question

The very idea this egg was his
is such a ridiculous suggestion

The colour
the size
The miasma of skies
The Swan leans forth to see
But then he makes his move to snatch
And take the egg from thee

Quickly take it and wander down the way
we'll look for the mother of this egg today

And who's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a Heron we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
And Heron looks down at you
Lord of the land

'Is this your egg may I ask good man?'
And Heron thinks quick and hatches a plan

Oh what a treat
A remarkable sight
And he bangs on a pan
And sets the stove alight!

The water boils
The pan is hot
Is Heron the true mother of this lot?

Humm . . . . I think not!

Quickly take it and wander down the way
we'll look for the mother of this egg today

And who's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a Magpie we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
The Magpie looks down at you
Lord of the land

'Is this your egg may I ask good man?'
And the Magpie thinks quick and hatches a plan

He taps it and strokes it in a motherly way
Thinking shall I poach or scramble this egg today!
Oh no
Oh dear
More gastronomic designs I fear!

Quickly take it and wander down the way
we'll look for the mother of this egg today

And who's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a Seagull we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
The Seagull looks down at you
Lord of the land

'Is this your egg may I ask good man?'
And the Seagull thinks quick and hatches a plan

Good day
Good child
Nice hair
So wild
The Seagull says quick as he scoots you along
Whips out his watch and puts a pan on!

It's great you came
Good day
To be sure
Now was there just one egg
Or perhaps there are more?

Er just one
And I think it's waking
I am looking for its mother
Before it starts hatching

Oh nonsense and tosh
What rubbish
What drivel
Give me that egg
Seagull lunges to your middle

Quickly take it and wander down the way
we'll look for the mother of this egg today

And who's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a Peacock we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
The peacock looks down at you
Lord of the land

'Is this your egg may I ask good man?'
And the Peacock thinks quick and hatches a plan

He fans his tail
Thinking of main course
And lifts a book gently titled Hollandaise sauce

Now good chap
Be a good fellow
I see the blue egg is also tinged yellow
Which I believe to be rare thing indeed
But perfect when you have six mouths to feed!

Now Peacock has spoken without intention
It's time you left this feasting convention

Quickly take it and wander down the way
we'll look for the mother of this egg today

And what's that you see with your steely eye?
I think it's a clearing we keenly spy

The egg sits neat in the warm of your hand
And you stare at it in wonder
Lord of the land

Do you have a home you wonder that's not in a meal
Then a small crack appears
And a neat beak reveals

Followed by horns and eyes so red
With golden feathers on every part of his head

And as he blinks he looks so funny
His beak opens sharp and he cry's out for mummy!

And from a single corner of the sky
Beats a beast descending down from on high

Sweeping down to the land before you can run
And the beast takes the creature
'Oh there you are son'

With a nod of thanks and a wink in her eye
The mother takes flight back into the sky
And nesting on her neck
As tight as a tick
Your little friend hatched
From the shell so thick

Then a sound of rustling comes from close by
Betrays Heron Seagull Peacock Swan and Magpie
And they watch their dinner be carried aloft
On its mothers wings to their eerie croft

But then they watch as the mothers body turns
And plunges towards them as they hide in the ferns
She snatches the birds every last one
And makes for her kitchen
To put the pan on!